PHEW!!!

Happy New Year!

I can't believe I'm here, typing a new post, or whatever this can be called that I am typing. I flirted with the idea of getting a new totally anonymous blog, but I decided not to, afterall, I've got nothing to hide or do I? *innocent look*

So 2009 is gone, with all its revelations. I've missed writing. I'll be back with a post, I promise.

Thanx to everyone who's made me feel like my writing is worth something by coming by to tell me to update. Thank you.

Making the most of it

"Cancer is a bitch,
If it were a person
It should be mauled to death!"
- ME!

Cancer is a freaking bitch! Puta!

So I was watching re-runs of Oprah's old shows, as far back as 1997, where she had these families of cancer victims who made the most of their short lives, no thanks to cancer.

One woman, a wife and a mother of one daughter, was diagnosed with breast cancer when her daughter was maybe 4 or 5, not sure now. This woman, may her beautiful soul rest in peace, decided to prepare her young daughter for life, all the years she was going to miss on. She made video tapes of her telling her daughter what to do in situations, from mundane to serious. As mundane as "how to wear make-up", "what kind of guy to date", "going to first prom" to important things like "what to look for in a man", "how to treat dad's new girlfriend after mum's death" etc!

I cried! I could not help it.

She died but not before she prepared answers to her daughter's most likely questions as she grew without her. What wisdom!

Another woman wrote letters to her 13yr old son and 8yr old daughter, telling them awesome things about them and how she hoped to be able to hold them from time to time from the land beyond. The boy cried while reading one of the letters on the show.

These are women who probably never hurt a fly, but evil, vile, contemptuous cancer caught up with anyway! But that's not the point of this post, the point is that these women made the most of the little time they had left preparing a comfortable life for their loved ones without them in it. That is love, and living.

So many of us are alive and well, see our loved ones all the time, meet people we can reach out to everyday yet we ignore them! just assuming that there will always be other times to be kind.

I don't even know why I am typing this post right now, I had a gazillion other things to blog about but hey, my fingers are on their own right now.

Please make the most of your life, love deeply, live fully, forgive easily, kiss deeply, share freely, be kind, helpful and never forget anything that made u smile.

I'll have to come back to read this myself anytime I'm being a bitch...lol

Thank you bloggers for every smile, every tear, every word... the laughter, the friendship, for everything.

p.s.

I have not been diagnosed with cancer, neither am I dying my dear people ok?

MWAH!

Kiss Me Through The Phone

"baby, u know that i miss u
I wanna be with u tonight
but I cannot baby boy
and that's the issue
Boy u know I miss u
I just want to kiss u
... Kiss Me Through The Phone- Soulja Boy

My Heart...
...beats for you
...races at your voice
...loves you

My Brain...
...thinks of you
...dreams of you
...plans around you

My Body...
...longs for yours
...writhes for you
...can't wait to nestle you

My Mouth/Tongue...
...prays for you
...wants yours
...wishes to taste you

My Hands...
...ache to feel you
...are dying to touch you
...want to caress you

My Ears...
...are thrilled at your voice
...perk up when you sing
...hear you b4 you speak

My Eyes...
...can't wait to behold you
...shed tears when my heart misses you
...don't see the future without you


Thank you all for your comments on my last post and I apologize for not replying. Roc, my ISP is IPNX, please deal with them.

Unwritten, been a while dearie, glad u are still here.

O'Dee, Congratulations newest Blogmama! I am campaigning for blog godmother o, so please don't let this shout out be in vain...lol

My peeps, please DO NOT drink and put up an audio post, thanks to Scribbles, I know first-hand that it is not a good idea! lol

Sorry, my heart is taken OR It never rains, it pours!

"you came along,
proved me wrong
I thought that
I could never find,
U are the only one
who makes life fun
U're the only one of your kind
U are my dream come true..."
Lagbaja & Ego - Dream Come True


So, I'm a late bloomer.

Yea, everything happens to me later than they do my peers. Seriously! BUT, when they start happening, they/it/whatever happen/happens in chunks...masses...avalanche(s) (is there a plural for that? *shrugs*)

For example, it took me FOREVER to get this body! I think my curves have been growing one inch a year since i hit puberty, and guess what? I think my body is still developing at 25 (maybe I'm an exception to the rule...lol)

Same with male attention, it started coming late, which i didnt really mind cuz i was a "prude". I mean I still think it's shallow of guys to wait for me to sprout breast and grow hips before homing in but I understand...hehe.

So now @ 25, two ex-boyfriends, three years of self-inflicted singleness later, I finally meet someone who's making my heart bloom again and it starts to pour, again! How come they never swarm like this when one is single and not "hearting" anyone? mcheew

You know what I think? I think men can "smell" when a female is "feeling" and I propound that THAT is when they find females most attractive! Anybody with a contrary opinion?

Please find below the list of the men who have suddenly appeared in the last three months, especially within the last month (when I finally agreed that I do love someone)

THE ONE WHO PROPOSED ON FB

Meeting point: Work (ex-office)

Stats: tall, dark, handsome,older and wears asphyxiating perfumes.

Summary: sought me out on fb and wrote "na me go marry u" along with his friends request.

Verdict: In his mind!

THE ONE WHO WANTED ALL MY ATTENTION

Meeting point: A friend (I so hate match-making!)

Stats: tall enough, dark, older and okay looking.

Summary: He decided I was the one he's been waiting for his whole life, and proceeded to call all the time and ask to kiss me on second meeting!we drifted apart, until he started calling again recently.

Verdict: who be fool? (he also had a sort-of-girlfriend, HELLO!)sorry, not looking for an overgrown baby.

THE ONE WITH THE GUN

Meeting Point: New Job

Stats: Tall enough, WHITE, older and over-tanned

Summary: He's around for three months and his job requires a really cute pistol in his back pocket at work. Has invited me to two restaurants (maybe he thinks all black girls are cheap) and stalks me at work.

Verdict: I lost interest in white guys when I once tried to kiss one and could not find his lips! I like them plum and juicy mehn. I still love half-caste babies, but maybe I'll adopt one or marry a Spaniard / Italian, the languages make their mouths more bearable. Sorry dude, I'm a lip racist! plus, the gun freaks me out.

THE ONE WHO PESTERS MY FRIEND

Meeting Point: Once at Shoprite

Stats: Can't even remember

Summary: He is a colleague of my friend's. She IMed two weeks ago to say he's been pestering to be formally introduced to me.

Verdict: Sorry dude, my heart's taken.

THE SECRET ADMIRER

Meeting Point: work

Stats: Don't know

Summary: got a call from a colleague asking if i had a boyfriend. I said maybe, asked why and she said I have a secret admirer bla bla.

Verdict: Something tells me it's the dude with the gun but I'm not sure. Whoever it might be, sorry dude, I like my men bold PLUS my heart's taken.

THE ONE WHO FELL FOR ME IN THREE DAYS

Meeting Point: Work

Stats: 6"4, dark, older and cute

Summary: met him at work and actually gave him my number on the same day, because he seemed sensible and cool. Three days worth of calls later, he says he is falling for me and making out with me in his head! plus, he has a Caucasian fiance o, whom he said he told about me, "e gba mi" (somebody save me).

Verdict: Dude, I don't "boyfriend-snatch". I also think you should pick one race and stick with it. I think u are nice though but even if u didn't have a fiance and were not so confused, my heart's taken.

THE ONE MY COUSINS ARE ADVOCATING FOR

Meeting Point: My cousin's house

Stats: tall, dark, older nd handsome

Summary: My cousins started off teasing us both and we hit it off. Found out later that he has a girlfriend who is in the UK. I think she's a lucky girl.

Verdict: Maybe if the circumstances were different... just maybe... but my heart's taken and so should yours be.

THE SPECIAL ONE

Verdict: Somehow u did it dude, despite the fact that you are not quite like the guys I've dated or crushed on, YOU STOLE MY HEART, and guess what? I'm not sure I want it back!


HAPPY EASTER PEEPS, SORRY I'VE BEEN MIA, INTERNET ISSUES AND OTHER STORIES. Sorry if the post is long...it should make up for the two weeks without posts...lol

Thinkaholics anonymous

Hi, my name is Smaragd and I'm a Thinkaholic...

Hi Smaragd.

Yup, you read right peeps, apparently Smaragd's not just a kissaholic and a shopaholic, no sirree, I'm also a Thinkaholic.

I can't even think of a song that's suitable for this post, if anybody has a song, pray tell. Anyway, this was a conversation between my friend and I a few days ago:

Me: err, so I got to thinking about...

friend cuts in

Friend: you always get to thinking! oya tell me what u were thinking about this time.

I didn't know what reaction I was supposed to have to that! Was that a compliment or an insult?

Truth is I am always thinking.

I carry on conversations with myself in my head, especially with people I'm mad at but don't feel like talking to, I rehash the cause of the fight in my head and carry out the conversation in several other ways. If I feel I could've expressed myself better, I would... in my head, or if I feel I was unfair, I would allow the person's conversation to be better than mine. yea, I do that.

You see, I am a very objective person. I'm your best bet if you want to judge two people's stories, even when one of the two people is ME.

I have thought up several posts in the past week, if only I had enough grace to put them into words. One of the posts I plan to write is "100 things about me" (I got this from Abbie a while back). Hopefully, I'll get to that.

My hands do not work as fast as my brain unfortunately, matter-of-fact no other part of my body works as fast... e-Doctors (Bumight, Mizchif), can you please e-diagnose me or tell me at least that this is normal?

So, other Thinkaholics in the house, please sign up!

p.s.

thank you all for your responses to my last post! I learnt so much. Did anybody notice that Afrobabe had so much to say about love? hmmm, and that the guys "Rocnaija, Scribble me free, FBA" had more to say than I would've thought. THANK YOU ALL! MWAH, MWAH, MWAH!!!

What is the colour of love?

Tell me what is
the colour of love?
What do you see?
Is it warm is it tender
when you think of me
I see the colour of love
when I'm thinking of you
As a picture perfect
painting of love
forever true
... Billy Ocean- "What is the color of love"

"Willkommen an Bord" to all the new members of my family! I am sooo glad to have you guys, especially thrilled that y'all even wanted me in the first place. here's a whopping MWAH! for you. And to the ab-inicio members like Zena (u know i love u right?), Ibiluv... nothing's going to change my love for u.

That said, I noticed that only Funms answered the first question in the first paragraph of my last post. I cannot blame you guys, that post was totally random!

So, I'll just rephrase the question: What is the meaning of love?

It is an overflogged question, and people like William Shakespeare and a great many other writers have tried for centuries to explain it to Dummkopfs like me, but it just still isn't clear!

I like to think I was in love with my exes, but when things went awry (in both cases, break-ups initiated by yours truly), I always realized that maybe I was never in love cuz I move on, and maybe I dont know what love is.

I am a very expressive person who finds it very easy to develop feelings for people who are worthy of it. Saying "I love you" and meaning it has never been a problem for me, it just happens once I open my heart to you.

Then again, I believe there should be that one BIG TRUE LOVE of each person's life! maybe I'm wrong, but eh, a girl's gotta believe what a girl's gotta believe. I like to think that there is that someone whom I can never stop loving and who would never stop loving me THAT WAY (not in my family way).

Anyway, so I fancy myself as loving someone right now, the floodgates are opening and feelings are pouring forth... believe me when I say that with me, it's an avalanche of feelings! BUT, I'm afraid...

afraid that I just think I'm falling in love because of the time I spend with the person...

afraid that I might be mistaking other feelings for love. Please dont ask me what the other feelings are, cuz I just myt not have answers to that as well...

afraid of what the result would be this time if I fancied myself to be in Love and it is once again not the real thing. I probably would give up on it altogether and just harden my heart...

afraid that the status messages I've been putting up on facebook because that is the way I feel are just a figment of my imagination...

afraid that the person in question might not even be ready to be loved this much...

See, I'm like anything you can think of that has a tough (or deceptively), thin coating and extremely soft, sweet core... I appear no-nonsense right? but as my closest friend says and i know, once u get past that facade, it's icky goo all the way! I'm always afraid of getting hurt, being taken for granted and whatnot, hence the coating.

Before this gets too long, can u good people just tell me if loving someone is actually deciding to give that person a gift that I've never been able to give anyone else and feeling that it's the right thing to do?

Is it wanting to be with someone so bad at the risk of everything else?

Butterbaby, Temite... this is for u!

if this isnt love
tell me what it is...
... Jennifer Hudson "if this isnt love"

So I've been awake at 1am, then 3am this morning, wanting to talk to a certain someone... someone I've spent at least 360 out the last 1656 hours of this year communicating with in every possible way available to us at this time... yet I think I dont really know what LOVE is... can someone pls define love for me?

There are many things I've wanted to write this past few weeks, but my lazy ass just wont convert words from my brain through my hands to posts! now I do not even know where to start from.

Let me quickly introduce my two baby sisters on blogsville, two young ladies who make me wish I actually had sisters in real life and are both so real, sweet and interesting... Buttercup and Temite (she hasnt agreed to be my baby sis yet, but I'm adopting her by force...lol).

I have a thing for adopting people, which is interesting because I come from a large family, so I shouldn't be looking to add to it ryt? but that's the way I was configured jare, I wont even pretend to understand myself sometimes...lol

I want to have sex!

There, I said it! In this age and time where people are abstaining and Afrobabe is putting the fear of God and sex into hearts with her latest post, Smaragd is thinking seriously about losing the Vee and getting it over with. Of course it's not that I plan to put up a sign saying " Virgin seeks strong man to pop her cherry" or anything, I'm just saying what's been going on in my head to you my cyber-family that's all.

Can somebody tell me why nigerians have to write IELTS? after all, we were colonized by the Brits. I just find it exasperating and degrading sef, after all, i dont think people from Ivory Coast and other french speaking countries need to write any french exam before going for their master's in France... mcheeew. Anyway, I sha wrote the blasted exam on Saturday, made a new friend at the center and met a cute british council invigilator too...wink.

Anyway, in this spirit of randomness and long posts, lemme gist u guys about my shopping date with the newly emancipated Fantasy Queen...yup, FQ...

First off, that cute babe and I worked in the same office building for three months, the same floor! without ever running into each other until my last day at work! can u beat that? well, we finally did and she invited me to Le Petit Marche, where there were several things to taunt my dry pocket (since I already indulged in some Bukky De La Zaria delights a few weeks ago). I had fun, FQ is not only cute, she is delightful!and I hope we get to do that again soon, though I will definitely leave my cheque book, ATM card and petty cash at home next time...lol. FQ is just what my droll social life needs. Thanx for a fun day sweetie.

What else? oh, work! yea, work's been a mix, i'll decide how much fun i'm having after my first pay day here...lol. There's a lot to learn and I now work in the most organized environment ever, so no room for silly errors.

That's it for now my pretties, it's 4:54am and I need to get ready for work, I resume 6:30am now! pauvre Smaragd *bats lashes*

p.s. My blogtwinny, Ibiluv, has an amazing voice! I could listen to her talk for hours...lol

p.p.s. Incognaija, I hope your e-heart's gained momentum again now...lol

Bis irgendwann, tchuss! mwah!