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Thursday, 16 October 2008

100% pro-life?

"...in my coat of many colors
my Mama made for me...
- Dolly Parton




It was my mum's birthday yesterday, and while I'm a bit too lazy at the moment to write her the ode she deserves, I must say that my mum is the strongest woman I know. She is also the most quietly determined! We clash a lot but I am ever so protective of her.

My mum.

I have her body, to see us from behind one would assume we were sisters. I have her hands and fingernails, probably the shape of her face as well.

My mum.


She's been Forty-something for as long as i can remember...lol, and she gets away with it because of her frame and her good skin. "kosarugbo ni Ghana" (there is no old person in Ghana), that's what we call her...lmao

I will write her an ode later, the real reason for my title is this:

I like to think I am pro-life yea? but I have these questions for you my peeps,

IF you were pregnant OR if your wife was pregnant and you found out through technology that the foetus had Down's Syndrome, would you have the baby? would you remain pro-life?

IF it were discovered that the baby had sickle-cell anemia, would you have the baby?

IF having the baby would mean losing the mother, would you have the baby?

forgive me if I come across as pessimistic or uncaring or what-not, I have an older friend who has a child with Down's Syndrome and believe me , IT IS NOT EASY, period!

I have worked with kids with Down's Syndrome, and while i love these kids to bits, i cant help wishing they didn't have to live like that.

On the other hand, I feel every baby has a right to life.

just tell me what you think okay?

P.S.

I AM NOT PREGNANT!

48 comments:

Enigma said...

WOW...

it's a tough question i have asked myself before..and the answer is i hope i am not faced with such a situation..

1: You dont wanna end the life of your unborn child, most especially when you decide to start a family

2: What if you do it and then something happens and you dont ever get pregnant again? Would you ever forgive yourself?

3: What if the next child turns out to be the nastiest evil person in the world..

The 'what ifs' are endless..

I just pray not to be faced with the situation..

I must not see anybody screaming first!

Wishing your Mum a rewarding long life

Shubby Doo said...

Happy birthday to your mum...oya tell me what did you guys do to celebrate...darn... methinks i owe you an e-mail

Smaragd said...

only U are first handsome bobo!

thanx for responding sincerely. I still dont know if you are 100% prolife or not though.

you have however raised more food for thought. are they reasons enough to bring a child in to a life of pain, hospitals, probably ridicule?

Smaragd said...

Shubby darling, thank u jare. I hate to disappoint by saying we havent celebrated, probably wont, we'll just get her a bday gift of her choice. I'm planning her 60th though (top secret)

u definitely owe me an email lurv!

aloted said...

awww happy birthday to ur mum...


men to ur question i no fit shout o!!! i pray never ever to experience such...and that no one i know will experience it as well.

can anyone TRULY answer those questions till they are faced with such! ah! God forbid bad thing!!!!!

bumight said...

lol, thanks for your disclaimer.

I'm 100% pro-choice. I think every woman should have a say in what happens to her body, and whether she wants to keep her baby or not.
I dont believe that cos you're pro-choice, you would automatically choose abortion.

I dont know what I'll do till I'm faced with the decision, in the mean time, I'd like to be able to choose.

Ms.O said...

I am 100% pro-choice. the questions you have asked even makes it more important as to why we have a choice. Hopeully I am never faced with a situation like this, but i I am, I really do not know what i would do. But having the right to choose, would definitely make the situation more admirable-for lack of a better word.

doll said...

i wont have the baby period

Smaragd said...

ALOTED, thanx darl and amen to ur prayer, but as i said, i have a friend who is in such a situation now! believe me when i say it's a very tough one to be in.

BUMIGHT my fellow Stripper *wink*, am not even sure if i am pro-life or -choice anymore, i'm somewhere in between sha!

i think the misconception with being pro-choice is what you just cleared up, "I dont believe that cos you're pro-choice, you would automatically choose abortion."

thanx

MS. O, i think "bearable" might be the word you were looking for? lol

I pray none of us is faced with such a situation.

DOLL, lol! such straightforwardness! i admire that, i never seem to be able to make decisions that easily.

Overwhelmed Naija Babe said...

juicy lips(hehe) ... this is not an easy question to answer.. i dont even know that there is an answer to the question.. i think when the time comes for aperson to make a decision... they figure it out... im pro-life... pro-choice... its one of those things ppl just figure out on a case by case basis.. or at least should be allowed to...

Temite said...

I dont know Men. I am pro-choice but Life is precious and I dont believe in regrets. So I dont know. Not much help, was I!

AlooFar said...

Did you remember to play that old tune for your mum... "Sweet Mother, I no go forget you... " ?

How are you? ;)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

I believe in the right to choose and hope that people will make those decisions as judiciously as possible.

I understand that some parents would choose to abort rather than have children with serious disabilities and/or to protect the life of the mother. I respect that and can't question. All I know is that I would never want to make such a decision.

Hope all is well.

bumight said...

@overwhelmed: from ur comment, you're pro-choice!

Naapali said...

If you are a hundred per cent pro-life then you are a hundred per cent pro-life. There is nothing wrong with that so long as you do not impose this on someone else.

Happy Birthday to Ma Emerald. I hope you got her a nice green rock.

Stingess said...

On all three questions, no i will not have the baby. Life is hard enough as it is. Why would i bring another being in this world knowing fully well that they would not have all it takes to fight to succeed in life. Besides that, i can't bring a child into this world to suffer. Have u ever seen anyone with sickle cell anemia have a crisis? It's horrible!

Abujamaiden said...

Tough question! But the fact God put them in the tummy, He should decide if he wants them live or not.

Sometimes he does it to test us and like enigma says, if you do it, you might not have a second chance to fix it or even ever get pregnant again.

Abujamaiden said...

I'm 100% pro-life! I value my life and won't imagine someone else thinking I'm so worthless and not 'have' me. And why do we even do to church and call white liars sinners when we killing babies.

Just my thoughts oh!

Jarrai said...

Happy birthday to your mum xxx

I am pro-choice and prolife...i believe sometimes we have to make very hard decisions in life and the only way possible is to make choices based on circumstances. I really don't know what i will do if faced with the situation...i pray i never am.

Smaragd said...

Thnax peeps for your contribution.

ONB, *blushing* thank u. u sound like me here...lol, pro-life, pro-choice.

TEMITE, actually much help, because the fact that we have the liberty of choice does not mean one should misuse it.

ALOOFAR, i'm fine. any update from ur end yet? i'm sure u are back on ur feet now. that song is my ringtone for her.

SSD, very well said.

NAAPALI, impose on someone else like who?
one's wife?
one's husband?
and even when one thinks one is 100%, what happens when there are complications such as these disabilities? see? u havent answered my qstn!
u as a doctor probably encounter these kids on a regular, how do u feel when u see 'em?

Ma Emerald will be getting more rocks than she can wear very soon, thank u ;-)

STINGESS, another very straightforward person! thank u. i have close friends living with sickle cell anemia, so i have a pretty good idea what they go through and i've lost a few as well. IT IS HORRIBLE.

ABUJAMAIDEN, hmmm... i am a bible-believing xtian dear, but i can only pray i'm not faced with this decision, because, sincerely it is a tough one.

it isnt so much that one thinks the babies are worthless as it is the fact that you know they will be living a life of PAIN. of course there will be good times in between, but the bad times can overshadow the good times in a jiffy!

there will be enormous emotional investment, financial, physical, even spiritual!

it is good though that u can say u are 100% pro-life and stand by it. i admire that.

LG said...

hmmmm!!!!!
'may be .....may be not'
abeg i cant shout, i agree wit Alotedbabe o' we no go see am'
*as per ur friend....the Lord ll see dem thru


(Happy Birthay Mummy-Smaragd :-)

miz-cynic said...

in any of these situations , though i'm pro life, im pro-good life.i will not have the baby period. it will make both(mine and the child's) our lives miserable so whts the point

Allied said...

I am pro-life and i pray this should not be something i have to deal with. I also have a friend with drown syndrome and i know sit is not easy at all...

Happy birthday to your mom

naijaleta said...

Happy birthday to your mum and nobody was asking if you're pregnant.

isha said...

I just pray that I don't have to answer those questions. I am pro-life too o, but I ask myself questions like that... God help us.

Naija Idol said...

I pray im never faced with such. but in all honesty, i dont think ill keep the child, but then again, im with enigma. there's always the "what if" factor.

Buttercup said...

Happy belated birthday Mama Smaragd! May God continue to bless u with many more fabulous years, amen! Keep lookin HOT!

Um...its easy to say we r pro-choice or pro-life, but i honestly dont think we'd know what to do unless we r actually faced with the situation(God forbid)...

May God deliver us from such, amen..my heart goes out to those goin through..

badderchic said...

difficult questions girl, I guess you just nevver know...

OluwaDee said...

Happy bday to you mama. Wishing her many more young looking years.

I will also say I am pro-life, but when faced with these situations, I fear I may opt for the other option.

I'll just stick with the lame answer 4 now; God forbid.

Original Mgbeke said...

I am pro-choice but if I were pro-life; I don't know men...it's one of those situations that you gotta be in to know.

Original Mgbeke said...

Oh and happy belated birthday to your momma. May she have many many more years of life and love. Amin!

Vera Ezimora said...

Happy birthday to mummy.

Kai, this one hard pas jamb o. I dunno what I will do, but if men could be pregnant, and if my husband's pregnancy was putting his life @ risk, I will not be able to take it. I'll like 2 believe we can make another baby, but me, I want my hubby ooo.

Vera Ezimora said...

By the way, I currently do NOT have a husband. lol.

Standtall said...

Happy b'day to Smaragd's mom.

So is Enigma saying yes, he would rather watch his wife die cos of all the ifs that he listed than getting read of the foetus?

Anyway, my answer is no I wont have the baby in any of the listed situations. And if I cant concieve again, I will adopt a child.
There are so many kids out there needing love and home. I will rather remain childless than risking all to have one. I am not crazy about having kids. There are so many out there to save

Rita said...

Happy Belated Birthday to your mum...the celebration still continues...

These questions are very sensitive questions...

We pray we do not find ourselves in such situations but in the light of such situations, that is the best time to make the decisions...

Zena said...

I wrote a whole long post answering the question and then it didn't appear.

No is my answer

InCogNaija said...

i am pro-choice...sensible choice depending on the circumstances.
if there was any of those factors you mentioned present, i will consider an abortion yes...ezpecially if my wife's life is at stake? sorry but my wife first.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Personally, I am very much pro-life. Politically, I believe in a woman's right to choose.

Would I have a child if it were found to have down's syndrome, sickle-cell or any other horrible disease? Most definately.

Would I have a child if it would threaten my life? Probably not.

Happy Birthday to your mum? Comment vas-tu ma cherie mignonne?

Queen of My Castle said...

It's funny...I have pondered the very same things repeatedly. While I was pregnant both times I prayed that God give me beautiful healthy babies with no birth defects, no mental retardations, no handicaps, no mental handicaps...

Very tough question indeed.

'Yar Mama said...

I am not pro-life nor do I support abortion but I believe in every womans right to choose so I guess that makes me pro-choice. Every individual has to make her own decision but no-one can assume that based on someones quality of life, he/she might be better off dead.

naijalines said...

It's a difficult one. I'm with Bumight on this.

FFF said...

i like 2 say dat "am pro-life, but". honestly, i don't know wot i'd do. 2 decide 2 go ahead wit having d babies or not. it's tough.

lol @ ur disclaimer

FFF said...

& oh, i love ur new template. very refreshing. & happy birthday 2 ur mom

ablackjamesbond said...

Tough questions. These situations seperate idealogy from reality.

Like Obama said, no one is pro-abortion but being able to make a choice when faced with these kind of decisions may not be a bad thing.

rethots said...

Oops, a tough one. But, with respect to "...baby would mean losing the mother,..." i would rather loss the child.

To mother, iya ni wura.

Muse said...

of course you're not darling, of course you're not.

Nefertiti said...

Am I too late to add my 2 cents? Well, since no one answered, I'll assume that I'm not too late :-D

There's no confusion here for me. The answer is no. I would not have the baby, and if I am unable to have more children based on that choice, I guess one of those children in the orphanage will have a warm bed and a loving heart. Adoption it is.

Lady Koko said...

LIKE ENIGMA SED...I PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY TO GOD I AM NEVER FACED WITH SUCH A SITUATION.......AMEN......