Thursday, 12 March 2009

What is the colour of love?

Tell me what is
the colour of love?
What do you see?
Is it warm is it tender
when you think of me
I see the colour of love
when I'm thinking of you
As a picture perfect
painting of love
forever true
... Billy Ocean- "What is the color of love"

"Willkommen an Bord" to all the new members of my family! I am sooo glad to have you guys, especially thrilled that y'all even wanted me in the first place. here's a whopping MWAH! for you. And to the ab-inicio members like Zena (u know i love u right?), Ibiluv... nothing's going to change my love for u.

That said, I noticed that only Funms answered the first question in the first paragraph of my last post. I cannot blame you guys, that post was totally random!

So, I'll just rephrase the question: What is the meaning of love?

It is an overflogged question, and people like William Shakespeare and a great many other writers have tried for centuries to explain it to Dummkopfs like me, but it just still isn't clear!

I like to think I was in love with my exes, but when things went awry (in both cases, break-ups initiated by yours truly), I always realized that maybe I was never in love cuz I move on, and maybe I dont know what love is.

I am a very expressive person who finds it very easy to develop feelings for people who are worthy of it. Saying "I love you" and meaning it has never been a problem for me, it just happens once I open my heart to you.

Then again, I believe there should be that one BIG TRUE LOVE of each person's life! maybe I'm wrong, but eh, a girl's gotta believe what a girl's gotta believe. I like to think that there is that someone whom I can never stop loving and who would never stop loving me THAT WAY (not in my family way).

Anyway, so I fancy myself as loving someone right now, the floodgates are opening and feelings are pouring forth... believe me when I say that with me, it's an avalanche of feelings! BUT, I'm afraid...

afraid that I just think I'm falling in love because of the time I spend with the person...

afraid that I might be mistaking other feelings for love. Please dont ask me what the other feelings are, cuz I just myt not have answers to that as well...

afraid of what the result would be this time if I fancied myself to be in Love and it is once again not the real thing. I probably would give up on it altogether and just harden my heart...

afraid that the status messages I've been putting up on facebook because that is the way I feel are just a figment of my imagination...

afraid that the person in question might not even be ready to be loved this much...

See, I'm like anything you can think of that has a tough (or deceptively), thin coating and extremely soft, sweet core... I appear no-nonsense right? but as my closest friend says and i know, once u get past that facade, it's icky goo all the way! I'm always afraid of getting hurt, being taken for granted and whatnot, hence the coating.

Before this gets too long, can u good people just tell me if loving someone is actually deciding to give that person a gift that I've never been able to give anyone else and feeling that it's the right thing to do?

Is it wanting to be with someone so bad at the risk of everything else?


RocNaija said...


RocNaija said...

Ouch! comment thingie..

RocNaija said...

Okay.. This is a thoughtful post..

I reckon love can be deciding to give a person a gift but.. Love can also be that person refusing a gift solely because he adores and cherishes you as a woman and as a person..

Love is spontaneous.. and it's also selfless..

Never feel you have to compromise just to prove your emotions..

Smaragd said...

I was so sure bumight would be the first here

Roc, thanx for that beautiful response, would keep it in mind. One thing that is certain though, this is one gift that is both selfless and selfish and was not sought. i hope i make sense.

Anonymous said...

First, have you joined the "first" association?
smargd,I can tell you what love is not.
I think your last question bodes more on feelings and emotions....then again, I have just learned to follow the biblical definition of love

RocNaija said...

Nah!! I just faxed bumight her pink slip..! There's a new sheriff in town!

So… if it’s not sought, are you offering..? or are you not offering but just thinking..?
Selfless and selfish… hmm.. for the gift bearer or for the gift recipient..?!

Funms-the rebirth said...

i think ive only been in love once, and then i felt it was doing everything without a care...... but u have to ask urself, how long have u been experiencing this? r u sure they r real. does he feel the same way? is it lust, a crush or infatuation? search urself

LusciousRon said...

When you love someone the feelings just come naturally. not forced at all. You might have ocassional doubts like worrying about what people think or other stuffs. But with that person the whole world just floats away and it feels right.

Good luck with your decision.

~Sirius~ said...

This must really be bugging you....2 posts in less than 3 days, as opposed to one every month if we are lucky.

* Really not friends with these topics Love and Sex.

But as for the sex, I'll kill to be in your shoes......Maybe I'm saying this because I've collected certificate of experience....LOL

I think Love is just being selfless......and you would definitely know when you are in love.

O'Dee said...

I dont think lv is any of the things in your last paragraph.

love is what 1cor 13, says it is.

I understand it more with each passing day in married life.

My parents 1ce told me you wont fully understand love until you are married. I agree.

doll said...

For me luv: the person I smile when I think about, the feeling of joy, completeness you experience with that person and also the knowledge that you can do “almost” anything if it would bring joy to this person

CaramelD said...

This is a seriously tough question. Ermmmmmmm if you guys stopped talking right this instance, would you be able to get on with your life without feeling like aprt of your physical body is missing? Would you be in withdrawal?

ibiluv said...


love is selfless

ask ya mam what she feels for ya

that's love

Afrobabe said...

Love is what makes you clumsy and run into a wall when he passes..

Love is that thing that makes smile when you wake up and reach for your phone..

Love is that thing that makes you want to proove you can pound force.

Love is that thing tat makes you cook only vegetable soup week after week cos he said it is his favorite soup.

Love is wearing his tee shirt at night and imagining its his hands holding you..

Now is it all thses feelings that have you almost abanding the big Vee???

Ms Sula said...

Love (if I can remember it correctly :)) is the possibility to go beyond yourself and expand your heart without expecting anything in return. But that's Agape love, the love God has for us and is we're lucky someone (maybe our children) might have for us, but that we all shall have for ourselves.

Now love as a human way of bonding is a lot of things depending on the two individual involved. It is patience, understanding, happiness, sorrow, all the gamut of human emotions.

It's ok to get carried away from times to times. But it's also ok to feel hurt and misunderstood at times. It's our human condition. I'll say keep being who you are but don't forget who you are in the process.

Afrobabe said...

ok, I just came back after realising we are talking about

Love as a colour hmmm...

I think love has many colours..

The love you feel for a child is sky blue...clean and pure.

The love you have for your parents is fierce but not red so lets say purple for loyalty...afterall you no get choice..

The love you feel for a man varies according to circumstances...

in the throes of passion it is red, you can kill any woman who tries to go after him.

sometimes it's yellow when he is there and just a part of you.

sometimes its green...all you see is a baby making machine...

and sometimes its black...when you just fell into the cold toilet bowl again cos he couldn't be bothered to drop the seat....

cerberus said...

Three opinons of Cerberus

From a rational point of view, emotions will only lead you to regret. Love is an overexagerrated expression for like. a word you use when like, crazy and the rest expire. Your gift when gone cannot be gotten back so make sure 1+1=2

Don't mind O Smaragd, Love comes and love goes. it's like fire that has to be fed if not it dies out and like fire as long as you have matches you can always start another one. Feel free to love, feel free to be loved. feel free to give and feel free to get but always remember darling that the equation will never be balanced very few people are lucky enough to have that.

life is a one time offer. live like every day will be your last. I'm not an advocate of love being the free thinker i am but i do understand it. I won't say throw away your gift but i'll tell you give it on your own terms. Control is yours.

Montones besos

scribble, said...

I can see where you're coming from and have struggled with these issues myself.

I've always believed though that love is not so much a feeling as it is an action, a decision to give yourself totally, unconditionally.

1Cor13 says a lot about love but you will notice it says "Love is" and "Love does" but never "Love feels".

Love is as love does m'dear

Smaragd said...

NAIJAGIRL thank u for ur honest opinion ma'am. biblical eh? ok

ROC, not outright offering, more like an "if-u-asked-i-would-willingly-give-u" conviction in my head. selfless and selfish for the gift bearer...

FUNMS, i doubt that it's lust, crush or infatuation, but then again, what do i know? I can't exactly say when the "feelings" crept up on, i sure didnt want to feel that way at first.

LUSCIOUSRON, if i go by this definition, i'm definitely in tx

SIRIUS, lol @ ur cert of experience. yes, it's bugging me. really? i should know yea? sucks to be me.

O'DEE, after reading this, i did a quick check with my bible, and...

DOLL, bingo! that's the way i feel!

CARAMELD, I would be in serious withdrawal! I would prolly get on with my life, but it would take a long while! i know that as well as i know my name.

IBILUV, cynical much twinny *cocks eyebrow*? dont be like that dearie, come on...

Smaragd said...

AFRO, lol @ running into a wall! i dont do that o, but everything else (not all tested though) works.

MS SULA, aww, thanx. will keep that in mind.

AFRO, You are on a roll babe! lmao. black ke? lol. i like the other colors and their significance tho, except, isnt green meant to stand for jealousy? just saying!

CERBERUS, hello mr. MPD! wow, i dont even know who to listen to now! dont think i like O much though, M and MY are much nicer

SMF, hmmm, spot on! i've always liked to think of love as a conscious decision as well! which also sort of makes it a "gift" ryt? and very true about 1cor13, never looked it that way b4... deep.

FFF said...

oluwadee, ur parents told u correct! d love i feel 4 my husband now is so different 4rm d way i felt wen we first met. but then, there is time for everything. love matures, & young love is fun. Smaragd, pls don't put a brake on dis ur feelings. enjoy it 2 d fullest. it's good 4 d health.

StandTall-The Activist said...

I will settle for it being wanting to be with someone at the risk of everything else...

Afrobabe said...

Green can also stand for being sick....

But I choose to think of it as fertility..

~Sirius~ said...

Please don't give the gift that can't be given to anyone else.
UNLESS you are ready to take whatever comes your way, because most times (if not at all times) the scenarios we have in our heads don't play out in real time.

If the gift means A lot to you, safe guard it.........If it's a gift that means something to you, but giving it to a person you are not sure about won't hurt...then it's up to you.

But I'll still say.....I'll kill to be have your gift.
Love is much more than giving the gift.....

Buttercup said...

i believe risks are invloved where love is concerned so i think u shud let go of those fears u've mentioned..just what if he feels the same way??

answering ur questions at the end, i believe love cud be those things..i mean, why wud u want to be with a person at the risk of everything else if love is not involved???

i hope and pray this turns out exactly how u want, it shud turn out so much better than u want it to!


aloted said...

hmm this gift...treasure it...cuz once you give it ,,,it is gone forever..abi?

love is not about feelings, feelings come and go. love is a doing word. a verb and a noun. your love has to be tested at some point. until love is tested you can never know that it was love. time tells.

Even God's love for us was tested when he had to send his son Jesus to die on the cross.

1cor 13 says it all.

FineBoy Agbero said...

Pray tell, why is Afrobabe suddenly obsessed with ur kini for love and losing ur v? Hmm... Afro, wetin happen?

For me, love is colourless. A blank canvas on which any colour would stand out. A canvas on which we can paint whoever or whatever we love...

Original Mgbeke said...

Ooops...*Exits blog*

Hahahaha..J/K. But on the real, I'm the last person to ask. I have never been in love o, never let myself take that risk. I guard my heart jealously and everytime I give myself a pep talk to try and give mymy all but...story!

Oh and I always like to think that there will be more than one true love for every woman but hey! That's just me...

flabby said...


BSNC said...

love is pure.. love can be any color pending on the moment and time.. (or so i think)

RocNaija said...

Lots of great responses for this post..
FBA & Afro were very eloquent..

Zena said...

I love the Idea of being in love, took me awhile when I read the post and I still dont have answers, I think we should all take a seat and enjoy they ride,

I guess Love is a palet of many colors, its green with envy, its white for purity, its red for passionate......and so on.

And I saw the shout-out, I LOVE YOU 2 Smar,

exschoolnerd said...

what is love?

do i even know what it is sef

Shubby Doo said...

what is Love?

is it something that facilitates relationships?
is it something that defines relationships

It is the infallible relationship men have towards each and
It is the flawless relationship that God has gifted to us

Biologically it is like the mammalian drive of hunger;
Something that must be satisfied for existence itself to continue

Yet it is like art;
The creative force behind our hearts and minds

thanks for the love. Much appreciated. I’m doing ok :-)

Muse said...

love is the madness we must all succumb to in order to escape the madness that is the world.

love is madness, and madness is love.

flabby said...

email me- i can add u to my blog!xo

Anonymous said...

I love colours and dont have a favourite one cos of that and I believe every colour means something but always a conflict about colour of it red?? blue???
Lovin' your blog.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Ma cherie
Comme tu sais, l'amour est beacoup des choses...
But yes: that feeling of damning the consequences and wanting to give your all is definately love.
Oohhhhhhh ma cherie is in loveeee
Missed you love

Anonymous said...

Love is a LIE they tell you. There is nothing like LOVE. Nonsense. I am obviously veryyyy angry and dissapointed at life. so do pls ignore this message. XOXO

Splash said...

i'm still trying to find out about this love thing since the day Billy Ocean asked the question.

i think when u love someone nothing and everything matters. if they F@*k up, it's ok u forgive. they give u a keyholder u feel like this is the best gift ever!

i must have fallen once. it was hard to let go when it was obvious it wasn't going to work but his hapiness was more important to me than mine at the time. that's the selfless part of love. i mean Christ died for us. Right? :-)

personally, i like it to be bright colors with enough splashes of red.

keep feeling what u'r's wonderful to say to someone "mon amour"

'sola said...

I don't also know what it means but for the record you can't be told but you just know it.