Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Kissingitis ( pronounced kisseenjaitis)!

But how do you expect me,
to live alone with just me?
‘Cause my world revolves around you
It’s so hard for me to breathe
- Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown

Please verify the following facts and get back to me so i can get back to Linda Schaefer who wrote!

1. Two out of every three couples turn their heads to the right when they kiss.

2. A simple peck uses two muscles; a passionate kiss, on the other hand, uses all 34 muscles in your face. Now that’s a rigorous workout! (see, kissing is actually an exercise)

3. Like fingerprints or snowflakes, no two lip impressions are alike. (maybe that should be used in catching criminals yea?)

4. Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches. (Ibiluv and Afro were so right about the sexual healing y'all)

5. The average person spends 336 hours of his or her life kissing.(WHAAT?! i hope i do better than the average person)

6. Ever wonder how an “X” came to represent a kiss? Starting in the Middle Ages, people who could not read used an X as a signature. They would kiss this mark as a sign of sincerity. Eventually, the X came to represent the kiss itself.

7. Talk about a rush! Kissing releases the same neurotransmitters in our brains as parachuting, bungee jumping, and running (confirmed!!!!!!). (I so want to kiss right now)

8. The average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married. (I would love to verify that one) *inserts tiny cough*

9. Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t (husbands start kissing away, boyfriends start practicing)

10. The longest kiss in movie history was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film, You’re in the Army Now. It lasted 3 minutes and 5 seconds. So if you’ve beaten that record, it’s time to celebrate! (is that supposed to be a record, we break that on a regular)


I was at the Galleria last saturday and the one before, please tell me i'm not the only one who feels like i mistakenly landed in a high school on LUNCH BREAK! it's not that i have something against teenagers being there, but they've overtaken the place!

You want to see Nigeria's "Haute couture"?please go to the Cinema on a saturday or a sunday.

I'm lonely! (there I said it *phew*).

For so long i havent minded being alone, not being in a relationship et al, but at some point this weekend, i admitted to myself that:

i miss being in love

i miss having someone to love mindlessly

i miss having someone to cater to

i miss having someone to talk to about every- and anything

i miss cuddling and making out

I miss buying "pour Homme" perfumes i heart so much for someone i love to smell it on... you know... he comes to see me and i can bury my face in his neck all even'long just breathing him in...

i miss reading those texts with all the sweet nothings in them

i miss those intermittent calls i would get during the day and night just to hear i'm loved

Despite being the "feminist" most of the time, i really would like to have my own someone all over again, gosh, it's been over two years!

I just havent met anyone in recent times who "does it"for me and it's totally impossible for me to settle for less, i wasnt configured that way.

i'll continue this rambling later peeps, my boss just came in from Abuja! he wasnt supposed to be back until tomorrow! now i have to get really busy... nonsense and concobility!


Zena said...

I miss everything you said as well *sigh* but it's not always that sweet remember?

There's nothing else to do in Gidi now lol, I understand what you're saying especially about the fashion a mall?(Nigerians always amaze me)

30+ said...

Love is on the way to your hood right now, be expectant.

Aijay said...

Awww... u'll be fine darling. We all love u here.

The kissing bit was funny sha.
I see u like the song "no air". Its one of my faves right now.

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

awww your so sweet..
i think I have a kissing addction..the fact that boyfriends lips are so soft and red and succulent and well shaped and and....He sef gets tired of me sometimes and I understand because my behavior is not normal..I kiss kiss kiss and keep on kissing..I need help

Dont worry mr right will come very soon and while your waiting enjoy your single life and flirt and batt your eye lashes at all the cutest guy you sight..ha!

darkelcee said...


dont worry , love will find u soonest.

this kissing thingy...... me i wanna do sharppish! need a dude fast.lollll

AlooFar said...

@ 5... You hope to do better... I'm wondering... do you want someone to apply so u guys can break the Guiness book of records.

... If you already have 28 on the list, I'm sending my CV now. I can work under pressure with minimal supervision :))

flabby said...

Im addicted to kissing!! I love this post!

I've been single for 2 years as well *sigh* i know exactly what you mean!

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Yes oh! Kissing is definately good for what ails you! I can testify to that!! LOL
Hmmm 29 guys...Im way below that average but I have a long while till I get
OMG Did I tell you I am SICK of that song! No air and 'Keep Bleeding' are some of the songs that threaten my sanity!
And dont worry boo...your prince will come soon! You might just have to kiss a couple frogs before you get to him!Lol!

archiwiz said...

Your post mirrors my thoughts... well, the missing part. Just the thought of having someone to share life and living with produces endorphins in my head. Well, thank God for the Holy Spirit, and all the little and big things He brings.

@ 30+ I claim that prophecy oh. Like my mama will say, "Who dey cry dey see road."

Original Mgbeke said...

Yes I'd like to verify the 29 men before marriage thing as well. *angelic look*

And no shakings girl, HE will come. When you're not expecting it. :)
What's up Smaragd.

Parakeet said...

SMA am assuming you live in Lagos? How does anybody get lonely in lagos. Am bemused... pele nor worry. Abi you want make I hook u up with some of my bad ass dudes?

Abbie said...

umm sweetie could you be the one "The Hola" that just approved me as a friend on facebook after all these years???? It's about time oh.


bumight said...

even in yankee, movie theaters are for the high school kids!

Enjoy your single time now, date and I'm sure your Mr. Kisser is on his way!

Mz. Dee said...

Kai... smaragd ure gona land me in truble o!!!
I need to kiss mehn.. any fine boy wey enta my side 2mrw dey 4 truble ooo!
Dat sed.. I lurv kissin!! Itz not as if i havnt even kissed 4 long but dis ur post is makin me want it badly 2nytt.

Aww.. but dont wori hun.. i'm sure the right guy wud come along soon enuf!

Free-flowing Florida said...

29 men!!!!! Chineke e. No o. my number no reach like dat o.

as 4 ur being feminist thing, do u know that 'feminist women are more likely than others females to be in a romantic relationship'? yeah? i bet u ddnt know dat, huh? hehehehehehe

i was playing Celion Dion's 'That's d way it is'. U should listen 2 it 2day & have faith - "wen u want it d most, there's no easy way out. wen u r ready 2 go, & ur heart's n doubt ... don't give up on yourself ... love (now, i forgotten who d song says but something like 'love has its way around' or d other)... & daz d way it is"

Free-flowing Florida said...

& yes, 30+ is right. wen u desire something, you attract it (so says 'The Secret' & d Bible, actually)

Free-flowing Florida said...

i kinda think i messed up dat celion dion's song somewhere along d line. lol. but u got d msg, right

Charizard said...

Ok now ur makin a brova wana kiss..*hiss....

ehn see rhyming...

ehen I swear I so feel you on that galleria yarns...there are sooooo many of them around I feel OLD...geezzz! Cant they go and read or sth?

We didnt have galleria in our time na...*hiss...silly children...

lonely she is so lonely..she gat nobody for her ownnnnn

pele love e go be aii na sho gbo?

princesa said...

I feel you on the Silverbird Galleria issue. Its more like a kiddies Palace now!

Give those ur toasters a chance now *wink*

Smaragd said...

ZENA, *double sigh* true that Zee, it's not always sweet.

there's plenty to do in Gidi now o... or maybe not..

30+, AMEN! thanx 30+

AIJAY, *sniffs and dabs tear* u are so sweet, thanx. i heart the song, it's one of the reasons i'm all mushy sef!

ZEPHI, red lips ke? *raises eyebrows* thanx for rubbing it in, i'm positively green right thanx babe

maybe we should start KA, Kissaholics Anonymous!

Hi, I'm Smaragd, and i'm a Kissaholic...

Zephi and others: Hi Smaragd!

DARKLC, amen to that. as per kissing, makes two of us!

ALOOFAR! crazy dude! i'm smiling like a sheep at ur comment. applications are welcome, and ability to work under pressure with minimal supervision is an added advantage! lmao

FLABBY, welcome to KA. two years huhn? u totally feel me sweets. thanx

NDQ, truer words havent been spoken yea? have fun sampling the 29 guys cherie.

u really are tired of No air? i just fell in love with it!

the frog part? ew!

ARCHIWIZ, lol. true! thank God for Holy Spirit o ... but err, cant kiss him though! ur mum's ryt.

Smaragd said...

ORIGINAL MGBEKE, feel free to verify that and get back to

Amen o! nothing's up right now, have u found any really cool bargains of late? pray tell.

PARAKEET, u are right, i live in lag and one can get VERY lonely here for real! oya hook me up...lmao.

ABBIE, yes darling, the one and thesame! sorry about the delay, i havent been facebooking! my PC is bonkers.

BUMIGHT, maybe we should have cinemas that will be 18 and above!
i hope my Mr. Kisser will be a crooner as well,so he can sing me a song with my name *wink*

MZ DEE, welcome to KA (check my reply to Zephi above). u'll see details in another post.

go ahead and kiss now, whatsup wiv boyfee? thanx babe.

FFF, lol! u are right babe, i didnt know that. i'm keeping my fingers crossed now.

"... dont give up on urself, love comes to those who believe in it... and that's the way it is"
i think?

lmao, i def got the message though. thanx babes.

CHARIBOBO, ca va mon cher? are u back in Lasgidi?
ehn, ryhmster! lol.

i've sworn off the galleria now, Nu Metro makes more sense now.

PRINCESA, thank God i'm not the only one. these toasters are not getting any chance o!

there's a saying "dont bother tantalising ur nostrils with something u wont eat"

Today's ranting said...

hmmmmmmm I feel u o jare. All is well.

Afrobabe said...

lol...being single can hurt worse here in london where ppl almost swallow each others tongues on the road....all in the name of kissing...always wish they would fall...I know...bad belle no good....

NaijaBabe said...

Dont worry, he isnt far away!

Mz. Dee said...

hi my name is mz. dee and i'm a kissaholic!!

Queen of My Castle said...

I love love love kissing!

I, too, realized that I miss being in a relationship in which sincere love is reciprocated, and the fact that my Naija friend/ex/current/ i don't-know-what-the-hell-we-are-anymore can into Houston over the weekend only made matters worse. *Sigh*

The Word states that love is I patiently wait along with you for it to return.

Enigma said...

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x...

here are 24 kisses, one for every hour of today..

*sweet nothings text message* from me to you! mwah!

ablackjamesbond said...

So u know where i work? I will soon figure u out too. Anyways, rem the 'cool' comment u saw on my 'about' page...that wasnt
me...blackbond did tht.

Jinta said...

about turning the head to the right to kiss, i wonder if it's something to do with being right-handed?

lmao! i was going to offer companionship but sorry, i cant do the talking all day and night on the phone and texting thing

Shubby Doo said...

Yep I turn to the right too

...29 men before marriage...crap...why did no one tell me about this stat!!!

question...what is better? top lip kisses or bottom lip kisses?

re: what you miss...everyday you have spent without is a day closer to when you will next be enfolded in it...just hold on and trust will be worth the wait

ibiluv said...

1) yea to accommodate each others noses(especially oyinbo people own whey dey long)

2) i luv me that kinda workout

3) I don see something similar for CSI-dem dey even use ear print......

4) you know how we do.........

5) 336 hours no do you????

6) really????????

7) no wonder-i luv it much much...far easier than bungee jumping......*wink*.......

8) kai i am way below average sef.......

9) kiss dey increase income??????

10) thats a long tyme to stare at a movie kiss but for any good kisser that one sef na preamble......*wink*......

no be dia fault as them don do galleria in dia tyme
why dem sef no go flex muscle????(teenagers)

its aiight to miss having someone
i do too sometymes
i just dont dwell on it
cos its not something i can shop for
it has to come my way

so i occupy meself with other stuff
and i am one of the very rare & weird females who dont
equate sex with love
i have always been a loner
so i can miss sex without actually missing a human

Jarrai said...

One of the side effects of being single is.....loneliness!!!

Girl don't sweat it, he will arrive when u expect it the least and he will be a champion kisser!!! lol

LG said...

awwwwww not to worry sweery
i jus gave cupid ur addy, yes...yes...he's on ur way!!!, *giggles*

tanks for checking up on me, i full ground Gidigba!!, nor saking, lollll

*i don update o, n u get assignment

Funms said...

i know what u mean about being single but then, its neva that perfect... dont forget the petty fights......
i can neva seem to get over the fact that nigerians tend to overdress everywhere

Jaycee said...

"Kissing is good for what ails you. Research shows that the act of smooching improves our skin, helps circulation, prevents tooth decay, and can even relieve headaches." Wowwwwww...

"Men who kiss their partners before leaving for work average higher incomes than those who don’t ...woah. My future husband better start learning about this, for his own benefit...LOLLL.

Maybe u're feeling all mushy mushy right now because someone is coming ur way real soon...take this golden time u have now to prepare urself for him. R u ready to be in a blessed and fulfilling relationship? This "free" time may be God's way of preparing you...*wink*

naijalines said...

@ Enigma: Awwww... that's so sweet of you to send kisses to my aburo.

Hey Aburo mi, you know we've 'talked' about this. Sometimes it's when you're not even thinking about it that it happens. But we can't help it at times... Don't worry, o'mbo lono. Ko ni pe de.

ejura said...

The average women kisses 29 men before...thank God HIV ain't trasmitted that way.

You know what you said about the Galleria? Well, that's exactlyhow i feel when ever i go to Ceddi Plaza here in Abuja. Teenage girls everywhere! I have nothing against em really but I'd love to be in a more mature gurl hang oou every now and then.

Hmm, to be in love. It's fun and i am loving it at the moment. I hope you get to meet the perfect"Mr" for you soon.

Anonymous said...

lol awww ur sooo cuteeeeeeeeeeeee...

guerreiranigeriana said... i enjoy that activity...reading this made me smile...and want to kiss passionately... for a lovey dovey, put it out there and he just might show up...

uNWrItten* said...

lol..awww gosh i havent been kissed in so long its crazy..i miss all those things too..but we gotta stay strong u know..

Naapali said...

Kiss away your sorrows.

Atutupoyoyo said...

I have only just rediscovered the joys of kissing actually. I fell out of love with it for a while but I am now locking lips with my gyal every chance I get. It surprises her and she thinks maybe I am overcompensating for something else. I just like those her soft lips too much to care.

Smaragd said...

TR, it is well o. thanx

AFRO, u are such a clown! fall ke? lmao! but i feel u sha, my two months in Germany, i was practicallyw atching porn on the streets! mcheew *green with jealousy*

NAIJABABE, preach it sistah!

MZ DEE, *in falsely cheerful voice* HI Mz. Dee!

QOMC, welcome to Kissaholics anonymous! ur naija guy came to Houston? aww, dont worry, we'll both be fine!

ENIGMA, awwwwww, that's the sweetest thing ever! u are such a darling... mwah! i counted the kisses and they were 24!

BLACK007, there is a blackbond? okay o, i apologise. i'm not sure u can figure out mine sir!

JINTA, *sniffs* u just broke my heart Jin. lol

SHUBBY, wish someone had told me as

i think kissing bith lips works just fine, but bottom lip isnt bad, if done right.
thanx sweetie!

IBI, twinny, lol,lol,lol! u are too funny babe. long noses eh? lol

i've been occupying me too for over two years! just felt an onslaught of mushiness, i guess.

Smaragd said...

LG, okay, i'm waiting for Cupid o, are u sure u got the addy right?lol
okay, will visit ur blog shortly.

FUNMS, yea, loneliness tends to cloud the petty dont mind us naija pple.

JC, thanx babe. i sure hope so and i am ready.

NAIJALINES, egbon mi atata, yea, i remember, and i'll keep my fingers crossed and my mind occupied. u are the bestest, *wink* u know now.

EJURA, my sentiments exactly! so MR. is doing his duty right? good for u! enjoy babe.

ONB, *bats long eyelashes*

GN, welcome to Kissaholics Anonymous baby!

UNWRITTEN, *hugs u right back* yea, we gotta stay strong.

NAAPS, right! except there's nobody to kiss.

ATUTS, awwww, i want, i want, i want *in the voice of a petulant, pouting three year old child*
kissing is fun and exercise and therapeutic and hygienic and...

mizchif said...

Awwww! I so miss all the things you mentioned. sometimes this "singility" does get boring!

As for galleria, i can't believe u are just making that observation, that's how it has been since forever, if u want to annoy urself further, try palms on a public holiday, u'd probably start crying.

isha said...

I thought I was the only one with a Kissing addiction. It's been a long long long time tho.

theicequeen said...

you too? the buying of "pour homme" not alone in this! i love the smell of mens cologne! and having a nice masculine body to breathe it in from is just divine!!!..and i relate to most of the other stuff..mot days..most days i wake up and am glad i dont have any of that..wonder why :P

BlogVille Idol said...

wow!!u described the galleria so well...d one in v.i abi?i felt the same way when i was

anyway we have unveiled 2008 blogville idol contestants check out the page to know when the competition starts and for more details and pls make sure u participate by listening and voting for your favorite contestant...pls stop by d page and show us some love!tanx

Smaragd said...

MIZCHIF, lmao! "singility" eh? I can imagine Palms on a public holiday.

ISHA, hi Isha, welcome to Kissaholics anonymous!

ICEQUEEN, you are the only one who noticed that! and u do it too? i so heart u right

PINKSATIN, i'm off to register....

Nogo said...

5. You want to do better as in more hours? Or less? Lol

8. I'm way behind... Does this make me below average? Lol

xoxo < Friendly continental kisses (you know those each cheek kisses - Lol)and hugs :D

Aphrodite said...

Being in love is great. Babe u need to give guys a chance, u never know o...

Afrobabe said... with jealousy indeed...

Charizard said...

Ah I don enter lasgidi since na...e be liek say na nu metro be the way now o...

Standtall said...

I am sure you were the one that corrupted me with Jegedeis English " Nonsense and concobility". Hubby is now begging me to pls stop disgracing him this incorrect English cos I now say this often. It's your fault o Smaragd!!!

Duchess said...

awwwww....i so miss the thrills n fun of kissing....i need a Mr Genuine jare......this singilty(lemme borrow grammer from mizchif)...i aint likin it atall....its bin ow many years i kissed last....lemme see...... 2yrs!!!!.....then ow do i make the 336hrs??

zara (my alter ego) said...

reading all these comments makes me wanna kiss..!

is it me or is it that in here,its been a while for most people since thier last kiss.... me.. not excluded! lol

Duchess said...

SMA babes, ow u dey, pls UPDATE now!

Buttercup said...

lol..#1 is so true for me! i know for sure that sex cures headaches, so kissin shud too!

awwwwwwww! dnt worry, ur knight in shining armour is coming soon to sweep u off ur feet, amin amin amin loruko Jesu!(amen amen amen in the name of Jesus)

Anonymous said...

Awww, dont worry dear the right guy for you will come along when you are not even expecting it. I am single right now & funny enough I am not really missing all those things....yet!

Parakeet said...

SMA wey update?

The Indecent One..... said...

okay now this sucks...

I come back and click on my fav. blog pages just to see there's a thousand and 1 posts I need to catch up on...this sucks big time!

OluwaDee said...

Every1 in blogville has been here, n I am just commenting. My apologies.

I like the way u talked about missing being in love. Its easy to say I love being single... but @ some point in time we want to love n feel loved.

I have listened to the baby girl song, n its really goos but not "rockable" if u know what i mean.

I will be relocating to the mother land.

can I have your email addy?

Allied said...

I heard about this kissing thing today. The one about husbands who kiss their wife make better income..

If my husband don't kiss me good bye - hmm Gods knows i will take it by force!!

Smaragd said...

ALLIED, lol! hear, hear! i hope guys know we're doing them a favor by kissing them!

OLUWADEE, u are 4given. and yea, it's easy to say being single rocks, but i do get lonely from time to time!
i get what u mean about the song sha, one can only dance salsa to, but i love it! s'ok.

yes u can have my email addy, it'll be posted at urs. thanx

INDE, sorry babe, i feel that way too when i've been hope u've updated.

PARAKEET, sweetie, i'll get to it soon.

MINKY, thanx babe. i know how u feel, but prepare for these onslaughts of loneliness.

BUTTERCUP, sexual healing is it then!lol. thanx babe, AMIN!

DUCHESS, will do darling! i'm good and u?

Smaragd said...

ZARA, lmao! u are so right about that! it seems pple are experiencing kissing famine.

DUCHESS, same here dearie, same here!

STANDTALL, lmao! sorry sweets, pls beg hubby o. but u can also tell him that according to original Mgbeke, razz is the new cool!lol

CHARI, bienvenue Cheri. and yes, nu metro is it!

AFRO, well, i am.

APHRO, i love being in love, just with the right person and not "wannabe's". but i'll try

NOGO, do better of course!

babe, u have to meet up o, u are sooo below

mwah, mwah, mwah! thatnx for the continental kisses, really sweet of u!

Sasuke said...

meeen na wha oh! you should write a book on this kissing stuff. well as you advised i think i should start kissing away.oya chinyere come here...xxxxxx

me self i done tire for galleria and the in flow of small small maggots as a matter of fact i no even fit go dey toast for their

soupasexy said...

hey sugar pie, sweet plum, choco honey sister of mine, i just got ur message and wanna say i'm doing good and i'll come back to blog soon i promise.

mehn, i love kissing and i've beat that record i've kissed non stop for over kidding! my lips were swollen and raw all day.

dont worry love, love will surely find you and all of us. **miss u**

Smaragd said...

SASUKE-san (as they say in Naruto), okay, i'll write that book once i've perfected the practicals...*wink*, sign up if u want to be one of the "guinea pigs" in my

lol@ maggots! na wa 4 u!

SOPASASHYSEXY, my head is swelling ryt now! oya lemme try too, honeybunch, bananasplit, chocolate pudding pie, i'll be the happiest when u resume blogging! blogville misses ur royal "hotness" babe.

u kissed for 30mins! i think i tried that once as well, my mouth was just as urs...lmao, swollen and tender all day.

welcome to Kissaholics anon

Desy said...

i'm DEFINATELY a consumer of kisses (and i think i surpassed that average a few years back)

all those things you miss about relationships are the reasons i try to block i need to focus on school and a relationship would be TOO distracting... cause when i give; I

Nine said...

Kpele.It happens,I know.The drought shall end.

As for teenagers,well,more than half Nigeria's population is below 25yrs of age.Besides,they have few other places to hang out.You're stuck with em:)

Zena said...


Beautiful girl said...

youre so funny girl, really nice post and believe me, i know how it feels to want to be loved jare

Sherri said...

hang in there and enjoy ur singleness to the fullest.

how u dey?

uNWrItten* said...

come this babe...u can like to update sharply!!!...warris goin on?

Sting said...

Nice post. Just had to point this out, being feminist doesn't mean u don't or shouldn't want a man. Feminism in a nut shell means wanting equal rights as men. A lot of people misconstrue feminists as man hating individuals. Not true!

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Talk about someone needing to update.......

Afrobabe said...

you need to update this joint oh....

TaureanMinx said...

One can be feminist and be in love with a man or does the word mean man hater? Pray, it will come :)

29 men? I have work to do.

rethots said...

Eyaa.....your time will surely come. Just make sure you are ready.

Tairebabs said...

Is she sure that the average woman kisses 29 men before she gets married. Haba 29? wahala dey o!

Yes the galleria reminds me of high school musicals! Kinda makes me feel old o!

About being lonely. Think of it as a break, enjoy the lonely time 'cos when Mr. busy comes around, you would miss it.