Friday, 30 May 2008

Poetic Justice

"these words are my own
- Natasha Bedingfield

I am Twenty Five
Thank God i'm alive
Situations not taking a nosedive
Like bees angered out of their hives

I am two decades and a dec*
No more on life's observation deck
Anticipation leaves me a nervous wreck
Now I'm worried what havoc i might wreak

I am a quarter of a century
I think I deserve loads of jewelry
From life's self appointed jury
Hey, i deserve not to live in penury

I am a silver jubilarian
Makes me sound like an unsexy librarian
More like an overly proud aryan
Somebody finish this line before i misyarn!

okay guys, i wrote this last week with some malaria still in my brain, so have mercy when telling me how much it

I'm personally not a big fan of poems except they rhyme and/or are romantic, so am no Keats or Shakespeare, but i made use my poetic

* dec- half of a decade

Friday, 23 May 2008


I cant find the right lyrics to start this post off with, hence no intro!

First off, THANK YOU ALL so much for the birthday wishes! I just read through all the comments and i've got tears in my eyes and a beatific smile on my face wondering what took me so long to find blogsville! How can people i've never met make me so unconditionally and deliriously happy? *blowing a gazillion kisses your way peeps*

You guys are the bestest!

I dont want you thinking i'm sickly or anything, even i dont understand what's been happening these past coupla months! I'm AA, which means i'm malaria-prone, but i havent been this sickly in years.

So, on the morning of my birthday, while dressing up, i started feeling nauseous but i ignored it. I went to work, receiving many calls and many hugs and text messages, in short i was gliding around the office in my 4-inches red peeptoe sandals, until noon. Then i started burning up! long and short of it is that Malaria snuck up on me like a stalking bitch and i started throwing up at work!

my cake arrived, big,creamy and very coconutty but the smell of it sent me straight to the loo! everyone at work said it was a fantastic cake sha (thanx to my sis-in-law), even though till today i cant tell what it tastes like cuz i couldnt eat it! couldnt even take a picture!

So, here i am three days later just re-acquainting myself with my PC. my boss told me not to come in but i had to come respond to you guys and also to wish Supergirl a happy birthday a day after (didnt want it to wait till next week.

I've lost weight and am a bit pale, but on reading your comments, I can feel myself getting re-invigorated and even an itsy-bitsy!

let's do a little exercise:

y'all close your eyes, imagine the sexiest person ever coming over to you, planting a sweet, tender kiss on your lips... then he/she places a cube of the creamiest, sweetest, melt-in-your-mouth cake u ever tasted! and u deserve it too!

thanx for taking part in that exercise, it's specially from me to with too much love!

Guess what my mum bought for me? a book titled "BEFORE THE RING"! i tire.

Dr. Naps, pls i need a consult...

Monday, 19 May 2008

24 going on 50!

" go on, go on, come on
leave me breathless
tempt me, tease me till i
cant deny this lovely feeling
make me long for your kiss"
- Breathless, The Corrs

So, Im going to be 25 tomorrow!

*heart beating wildly* I'm not quite sure if it's out of fear or excitement.

You see, i have been throwing the age around a lot of late, like it's a perfect answer to every

An example of a typical conversation with me these days is:

Mum: why do you need to buy that item? u are too young

Smaragd: excuse me mum? I am 25 years old! *with really wide eyes*


Dad: why do you want to move out? what makes u so sure u are ready for this big move?

Smaragd: I am 25 years old dad!


Boss: why do you need a raise? it's not like you have any responsibility.

Smaragd: I AM EFFIN' 25 years old for crying out loud! isnt that enough responsibility in itself, duh! (wish i coulda said it like that though!lmao)

25 is just before 26, which is the age limit for most entry level jobs in Nigeria! i know that isnt really

relevant for me because I already have a job BUT it's scary all thesame!

I am no longer that age where people dont bug me about marriage, i miss those years already... 18, 21 even 22, 23... I was still considered a "girl", now I'm a young woman (in my family's eyes) and the expectations have changed.

The unfortunate thing is I HAVENT CHANGED! i'm still the same girl i was last year or two years ago. I was a graduate then, I am a graduate now, I had no boyfriend then, I have no boyfriend now, I ate noodles all the time then, I still eat noodles all the time now (yep! i do) I wasnt having sex then, I am still not having sex now ( i know, i'm boring), I could go on and on!

25! a rude awakening! mid-twenties!

u hear stuff like " o ma ti n dagba" (u are getting old!), "o ma ki n se omode mo" (dont u know u are no longer a child), "awon egbe e ma ti bi omo meji" (your mates have two children). Sometimes i just want to scream out loud and tell these people to let me grow in peace and at my own pace!

Okay, enough venting.

So the birthday gifts have started coming in, a card signed by the whole office,i got a perfume i like today from one of my colleagues, "TROUBLE" by Boucheron, it's an old perfume (2004) and smells very much like Vivienne Westwood's "Boudoir", Lancome's "Hypnose", Dior's "Addict", hypnotic poison.

It has a sexy musky "woody" smell, not something i'll wear everyday though, actually, there's no perfume i'll wear

I read that it's got mandarin, bergamot, water hyacinth, musk, precious wood, vanilla, digitalis (scary eh?) Jasmine, Citron, Blue Cedar and Amber. My boss says he dislikes the smell already, but too bad cuz i had to inhale his "Joop" (ew!) everyday last month till it finished!

Tomorrow, i'll tell u all about my day. I have a cake coming in, layered cream cake with coconut sprinkled all over it. dont know why i ordered it except for the fact that i dont want icing on my cake, I'm 25 now *ha ha*

p.s. blogger is acting crazy, i can neither highlight nor italicize my words. So bear with me.

Friday, 9 May 2008

Higgedly Piggedly!!!

" come on bay-bay
let's do the twist
come on bay-bay
let's do the twist
come on bay-bay
it goes like this..."
TWIST, Dunno who sang

Remember this song from those days? NTA adapted it for a while too.

" I know u, u are a horny toad,
horny toads give me warts,
hop away horny toad!"
- Claire Sims to Alan Shore,
Boston Legal Season 2 episode 2

this is not a song, but the delivery of these words cracked me up no end! still laff just remembering the actress's face when she said it, "ick and double ick"!

"goodbye Joe, me got to go
me oh my oh, me got to go
upon the pier down the bayou
my Yvonne, sweetest one,
me oh my oh, son of a gun we'll
have big fun on the bayouuuuu
- Kenny Rogers?

I have been watching Boston Legal, currently on season 3 and totally hooked in an "UHU glue" way, it's abso-sugar-lutely fantastic!

I do have stuff to write, but i'm organising a "Get-together" that'll start in a few minutes, so i really have to run. will be back peeps.


y'all have a "BLOGALICIOUS" mother's day!

Tuesday, 6 May 2008


p.s. I love you
- Gerard Butler, p.s. i love you.

This tagging thing is work o!

…here are the rules:…
1. …link the person who tagged you…
2. …mention the rules in your blog...
3. …tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours…
4. …tag 6 following bloggers by linking them…
5. …leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged…

Here goes…

I am a very quirky person! I’ve got a gazillion quirks, infact I have found at least one quirk in common with all the tagged bloggers I’ve visited! So my first quirk is that I am probably the quirkiest person I know, I’m weird like that…lol

I was born with my eyes wide open! I already wrote about that in an earlier post “Because Mama Said so”. According to my parents, as at 25 years ago, babies didn’t open their eyes until days or even weeks after birth, so I gave my parents a pretty good scare…lol

I hate making decisions! Also already wrote about that in “Decisions = Incisions”. Decision making for me is a huge task and I always “unmake” up my mind right after deciding on something. I think this is a direct result of my next quirk.

I am always thinking! I think non-stop at all times except when I’m sleeping. There’s always a conversation going on in my head per time, or a thought I want to write down or something I should have said to someone or I plan to say etc.

My “extremities” (if they can be called that), are small! By extremities, I mean my feet (size 4 ½), hands, nose, and ears (white pple particularly are amazed at the size of my ears…lol).

I can’t masturbate! It’s an activity I find very disconcerting, (this has nothing to with religion, although I’ve heard it labelled “sin” in church).

I read everywhere, toilet, while eating etc, I always have a book with me.

Finally, I get easily bored! (With people especially guys, jobs etc). It’s a crazy thing, but it’s true. That makes 8 quirks (sorry, I don’t do well with rules either…lol)

Phew! Glad that’s done, and seeing that almost everyone’s been tagged, I hereby tag all untagged bloggers.


On workers’ day, I went for my friend’s engagement party wearing one really nice African print dress my tailor just made for me. The engagement started late so I left at 4pm for the Ikoyi boat club where I had oodles of fun!
I was with a beautiful family (my mentor’s). The kids are amazing! We left the boat club for a slow cruise on the incredibly calm water and I got to steer the boat!

It was a truly beautiful day, even the elements co-operated. The sky was at its bluest, you know that type of weather you get when it looks like rain but it never actually pours? There’s the cool breeze and the not-blazing-as-usual sun, everything just worked together to make the day nice. We had Moet and goat pepper soup (for the adults) on the boat, chicken, chips and juice for the kids and cruised for a couple of hours up and down the Lagos coastline. It was ├╝ber-relaxing and fun!

Then Saturday…

Had to go over early to my friend’s cuz I was on her train, (with the rate at which I’m going, I’ll probably have 27 dresses at the end of the year lol… is it true that one shouldn’t be a bridesmaid more than thrice in a lifetime?).

Anyway, the wedding service started at 2pm, but because there was just one make-up artist for 7 bridesmaids, we got to church 30mins late (the bride got there in time though), and because I especially entered last along with another chic, we both got to sit apart from the other maids.

If u have been to Methodist churches, u will know that their chairs have these co-joined sort-of table where bibles are placed (or where one can place one’s head to sleep if u will…lol), and that it is therefore difficult to move out of one’s seat. Anyway, during the rest of the service, guess who came in? OBJ (the bride’s father is a politician who worked with OBJ at some point). The silly guys he calls SS wanted to take him past the very front of the church where the couple was seated just to get him a seat! So the old guy refuses and sits on the closest chair, which was of course mine!

That was alright except for the whole paparazzi thing. The girl beside me just ignored the SS guys who tried to get us to move to another chair, they even got the other bridesmaids to move back one row of seats! OBJ then said it was alright, that they should leave us alone.

The highlight of this story is that on our way out of the church (the couple and the train always leave first before other people abi), I and the other babe now either had to walk past OBJ on our right or past seven members of the groom’s family on our left. We decided to go the OBJ way (which was clearly the least clumsy) and his SS guys almost went epileptic…lol, so the other girl went first (the babe no even send …lol), and I followed, and Baba Iyabo, being the gentleman that he is *eyes rolling* decided to support my pin cushion with one hand to help my exit, gasp!

Everybody behind us noticed! You can’t imagine how much fun was made of me that day…lol. I was being fancied by an octogenarian (even though the old guy was only trying to be nice…lol).

That's how Pin Cushion met OBJ.

p.s. this is a 3-in-1 post in one so bear with me.

Friday, 2 May 2008

Pin Cushion

I love you,
you love me
we are a happy family
with a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
wont you say you love me too?
- Barney

If u are looking for the pin cushion that inspired my title, tell me to turn around and u'll see it right there, jutting out roundly from the base of my spine.... voila... my derriere!


yes, my bum has now become a pin cushion!

why? how?

I have been complaining of not feeling 100% for a while now, sometimes i'm upbeat, other times i'm blue. headaches, cough that lingered, sorethroat that got treated and then came back thrice in 6wks! skin irritation etc. Things literally fell apart in my system.

So, sunday morning, i woke up with a fever but i still dragged myself out of bed and went for the last service in church. Monday morning, i woke up with no voice! i couldnt talk for the inflammation that was in my throat.

Long and short of it is that i ended up being dragged along with my mum to work on wednesday (she's a nurse). After all the testing and story, the doctor prescribed 2 injections per day for 5days!


Why is that a big deal?

First off, the last time i got an injection, i was what? 10yrs old! that's almost 15yrs ago!

secondly, i loathe injections, i hate the thot of something pricking me and yea, have i mentioned somewhere that my threshold for pain is VERY low?

so, my mom schlepped me off to the injection room (yep, there was a room called that) where i started my drama. It was humiliating!

You see, I am a drama queen by nature. The drama becomes amplified by certain emotions e.g. fear, excitement, sadness etc

So, after i had negotiated with the doctor to see if i could get oral alternatives for the injection, all to no avail, i spoke to myself, hoping i could self-motivate, for where?
At the sight of the first injection, i started pleading wiv the nurse, sweet-talking her, telling her i loved her (crazy yea?). When that didnt work, i changed tactics and began to bawl like a baby!

At some point, my mum told the nurse to chase me out of the room. Even i was ashamed of myself...l0l. All my antics got them to have pity on me and mix the contents of the two little vials together (now why didnt they do that before i started crying? sometimes i just hate nurses)

Please note that i now had one injection to contend with (that was before my mum decide that i needed the TT injection as well). Eventually, a kind older nurse suggested that i hug her tightly while my mum administered the needle (very sweet woman, God bless her soul). I held on to her tightly but as soon as i felt the swab of the cotton wool on my bum, i bodily lifted the poor woman and ran round in circles some more.

Now it's funny, but at that point in time, that injection was my greatest fear ever. I settled down to have it administered by my mum finally (she's the most careful nurse i know) and it wasnt so bad after all.

Then i got the TT on my arm,(with less ado).

And i've been getting a daily fix since then. I still run around a bit, but i'm becoming a

Shame on me yea?

Y'all cant blame me, i'm entitled to my eccentricities.

A la Bumight, it's my birthday in 18 days, yay!

And lastly i had a splendid worker's day ystdy, will blog about it layta, plus i have a mighty crush on Alan Shore (James Spader) in Boston Legal, Gawd, i never thot i could be attracted to a man cuz of his ability to speak "legalese", be vulnerable and chase women without trying too hard!

Oh, and i've been tagged by naijalines (i'll get u for that), so i'm working on it.